Let's be real, folks - if you're diving into Soulslikes expecting a cozy picnic, you're about as prepared as a snowman in hell. As someone who's rage-quit more times than I've brushed my teeth, I can confirm these games treat newbies like piñatas at a birthday bash. From devious traps that'll make you scream 'Not cool, bro!' to bosses that laugh at your pitiful dodge rolls, this genre is basically digital hazing. But hey, that's why we love it, right? 😅
People Also Ask
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Why are Soulslikes so damn hard? Because game devs are secretly sadists who feast on gamer tears - it's scientifically proven!
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Can I git gud without breaking my controller? Absolutely! Just embrace death as your quirky BFF who visits 50 times an hour.
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Are there any 'easy' Soulslikes? Sure, if you consider getting mauled by radioactive squirrels 'easy' - otherwise, nope!
10. Lords of the Fallen (2023)
This bad boy doesn't just throw you in the deep end - it tosses you into shark-infested waters wearing steak underwear. That Umbral realm? Pure nightmare fuel where enemies hit like freight trains on Red Bull. I still have PTSD from getting yeeted off cliffs by basic mobs while poisoned, frozen, and questioning my life choices. Bosses here make Dark Souls look like Teletubbies.
9. Bleak Faith: Forsaken
Ever gotten lost in IKEA? Multiply that by 100 while being chased by Cthulhu's rejects. This sci-fi mind-bender has level design so twisted, my GPS filed a restraining order. The 'AA jank' means enemies move like glitchy breakdancers - utterly unreadable! And those boss runbacks? Straight-up cruel and unusual punishment. Pro tip: bring snacks. You'll need 'em.
8. Black Myth: Wukong
Don't be fooled by the pretty monkey business - this 2024 gem plays psychological warfare. Starts easy-peasy until BAM! The training wheels fly off and you're juggling transformations, buffs, and healing like a circus clown on fire. Finding secrets without a guide? Might as well hunt unicorns. I spent 3 hours stuck behind a waterfall crying over missed combos. Worth it? Heck yeah!
7. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
The Dark Souls of divorce simulators because it'll ruin your relationship with any notion of 'fairness.' Parry or perish - no grinding, no overleveling, just you vs. bosses with more phases than a moody teenager. That final boss? Made me question my entire existence. My controller still has sweat-induced rust marks. Still, nothing beats the sweet dopamine hit when you finally 'click'... after 200 deaths.
6. The Surge 2
Welcome to Robot Hell, population: YOU! This sci-fi romp has more systems than a NASA control room. Directional dodging feels like solving Rubik's cubes mid-backflip while bosses drop-kick you into next Tuesday. Zero hand-holding means you'll wander like a lost puppy in a dystopian Ikea. My proudest moment? Finally beating a boss only to realize it was Tuesday and I'd missed taco night. Priorities, people!
5. Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty
Imagine signing up for a yoga class and walking into Navy SEAL training. That's Zhang Liang - the tutorial boss from actual hell. This two-phase monstrosity has broken more newbies than a $5 lawn chair. No summons, no OP gear, just you vs. a health bar longer than my tax forms. Devs basically went 'Welcome! Now DIE.' But honestly? Surviving this makes you feel like a gaming god.
4. Nioh 2
Where Nioh 1 was a slap, this sequel is a full-on curb stomp. The combat system requires more inputs than launching the space shuttle - ki pulses, stances, parries OH MY! Bosses range from 'aww cute demon' to 'WHAT IS THAT ABOMINATION?!' requiring PhD-level strategy. My notebook looked like a mad scientist's journal. First-timers? You'll quit faster than a New Year's resolution.
3. Wuchang: Fallen Feathers
This love letter to pain mashes Sekiro, Bloodborne, and Wukong into a beautiful torture device. Enemies ambush you like ninja raccoons on espresso, while the madness meter punishes death by spawning BOSS FIGHTS to reclaim your stuff. Absolute bonkers! I once died so much, my character basically became a walking nuke - high risk, high reward, high blood pressure.
2. The First Berserker: Khazan (2025)
This newcomer said 'Hold my mead' and dropped boss fights so vicious, they make Malenia look like a kindergarten teacher. Parry timing? Tighter than my jeans after Thanksgiving. That 'tutorial' boss alone made me question my reflexes - and I play competitive pinball! Even 'easy mode' is harder than explaining TikTok to your grandma. Only for masochists with cat-like reflexes.
1. Hollow Knight: Silksong
The king of pain! This Metroidvania-Souls hybrid has platforming sections where enemies gang up on you like bullies in a locker room. Bosses demand specific tools - no wing upgrades? Get wrecked! Touch damage means every jump is a panic attack. Healing? Canceled if you so much as sneeze nearby. They've patched it since launch, but newbies should still approach it like a live grenade.
My Crystal Ball Gazing 🔮
Honestly? I pray devs invent a 'grandma mode' by 2030 where bosses bring you cookies instead of pain. But until then, I'll keep smashing controllers while yelling 'ONE MORE TRY!' like the glutton for punishment I am. Maybe we'll get holographic Soulslikes where deaths physically hurt - now that's next-level masochism! What a time to be alive... repeatedly.